throw off everything that hinders

i had a thought a few nights ago and God confirmed it this morning during beth moore bible study.


"i am SO glad i do not have to carry the burden of providing and making decisions for my life."


when i had this thought, i was actually a little shocked. this is a new belief in my life and i didn't know that it had taken hold. as a single woman, for so long i've envied my married girlfriends for several reasons, one of them being that the husband is provider and ultimately responsible for the direction of the family. (though i know some of you out there do your best to get your opinions heard by your significant others).

but i am becoming more and more confident these days that Jesus is my Provider and the Leader of my life. i've seen proof of provision, so that's not a big issue for me right now. however, knowing what to do/what job to look for/whether to go to school/etc has obviously been a concern. but that's not a burden i'm supposed to carry. perhaps i'm too laid back in the jobhunt/making decisions, but i don't think so. i am convinced that God is going to tell me what to do. even if it is just one step at a time, i just know He's in charge of the future and He's going to let me know what i need to know, when i need to know it. He is in control of my life; it's by His grace that i take my next breath and next step; He is my load-bearer, my burden-carrier.

to carry this worry would hold me back. it would keep me from running to win the race. i keep thinking of the tv show "the amazing race": if i remember correctly, every time they had to race to the finish line, they put their packs down and ran with all their might. it's really hard to run with a backpack on...and you look pretty stupid trying to do it too.

i'm not saying we're supposed to just sit around until He tells us to get up. it's a race! we're running. but we've got to be actively seeking, keeping our eyes and ears and hearts open.

i know that not worrying is something Jesus has been trying to teach me for a long time. i hope i get it this time around.