be still

been doing a little thinking/processing the last few days. seminary is expensive. and as always, i was worrying about the future this weekend. then i read in my utmost for His highest, "Do not fret - it leads only to evil" (ps 37:8). so instead of fretting, i decided just to change my budget around so that i could save more money. the next day the title for my utmost was "don't calculate without God."
ok God, what are you trying to say here?
He hasn't told me to go to seminary, but it's just something i can't shake.
He hasn't told me to be on the foreign mission field, but again, it just keeps coming up.
but this morning at church we sang 2 songs that come out of psalm 46. as i was looking at it, i realized something.
vs 11 "be still and know that i am God. i will be exalted among the nations. i will be exalted on the earth."
God WILL be exalted among the nations. period. He doesn't need me to go to seminary, earn a degree in global studies, or go to the farthest corner of earth for Him to be exalted. He might allow me to be a part of it. but He doesn't need me.
i am to be still. to stop striving, planning, and calculating.
and i am to know that He is God. He is self-sufficient. He's got it under control. He will be exalted.

i must be bored

i am: eating homemade banana icecream
i dream: in Romanian sometimes
i think: about the future a lot
i know: Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever
i want: to sleep in tomorrow
i have: a great job
i wish: plane tickets/travel was not so expensive
i hate: drivers who think they own the road
i miss: bethany
i fear: being lonely when i'm old
i feel: content
i hear: a ticking clock
i smell: like smoke from a camp fire
i crave: fellowship
i search: the internet for information
i wonder: if I could take the love of Jesus to all the nations
i regret: stupid, stupid mistakes my first 2 years of college
i love: Jesus
i ache: across my shoulders, up my neck and into my head...every day
i care: not about politics
i always: get excited about the olympics
i am not: athletic
i believe: Jesus is the way, the truth and the life
i dance: spontaneously
i sing: in the car
i cry: when i don't get my way...so, so childish, i know
i don’t always: make my bed
i fight: rarely
i write: to express myself and to encourage others
i lose: and get mad
i never: thought i'd be living with my parents again
i listen: as best i can when people talk
i can usually be found: by the pool on saturdays
i need: Jesus
i am happy about: 3 day weekends
i desire: heart friends in florida
i hope: brianna and sammi get to come for a visit