happenings

last week i read a book called the shack. i can't decide if i recommend it because it's a little on the mystical side, and i would only want to truly recommend something that's based on truth. but this book did make me want to know Jesus more intimately, and i believe there is truth woven in.
the book is about a man's struggle after his daughter was kidnapped and evidence is found in an abandoned shack that she was murdered. several years later he receives a mysterious note from "Papa" (the name his wife intimately calls God) inviting him back to the shack. Mack decides to go for it and meets the Trinity there.
ponderings while reading:

• our perceptions of God are not always correct
• God desires that we be one with Him, and that is so, so intimate
• God did His part that all peoples might come back into right relationship with Him, the rest is up to man
• predestination...though God knows who will chose Him, He desires for all to come...He's not sending man to hell in His wrath...man chooses it for himself
• God knows how many times He has to teach us something before we get it; each time we don't get it we are disciplined or rebuked by our loving Father but He rejoices in "only 46 more times to go!" (i don't know how much truth is in that, but i thought it was funny)
• we are judgemental beings...and we have no right to be

as i was reading the book i also read John 15:15, "I have called you friends." i shared with my students the other day that we can be friends with Jesus and that i've been praying for that side of our relationship to be strengthened (because i have no friends here in florida!). one of them was funny...she said, "i never thought of ms. angela needing other friends. i thought we were enough. i guess i never thought of life outside." oh how small their worlds are!

we also are reading through 1 kings right now. solomon just finished building the temple and prayed "that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other" 1 kings 8:60. we talked about what a blessing it was that solomon prayed for us! later in the day we read john 11 where mary and martha tell Jesus, "if only you had been here our brother would not have died." we talked about our "if onlys... and yeah, buts...." and Jesus' response is, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

oh that all the peoples of the earth would see the glory of God!

so, now that it's almost over i feel that i can share about my fast...my 40 day no tv or movies fast. it's been rough some days, i'm not gonna lie. the last 2 fridays i've just wanted to veg after a long work week!
it all started with that Beth Moore study. God just kept bringing it up...getting rid of the things that don't glorify Him, or edify me; letting Him sanctify me through and through. i wasn't sure what to cut out so i just did it all. really, really hard thing to do considering there is a tv in almost every room in the house AND outside on the back porch. i must admit, a few times i turned around when someone was making a great golf shot (i don't even like golf), or when i overheard a really funny commercial, but i usually tried to keep my distance.
what i've learned:

• we waste a lot of time watching tv
• we watch a lot of things we, as Christians, shouldn't
• we tolerate, thus accept, a lot of immorality by watching said programs
• i'm challenged to watch less tv during the week, maybe none monday through thursday
• i'm challenged about the shows i watch...will i continue to tolerate the sexual innuendos, the swearing and cursing, the murder, etc?

i'll say it again...this is HARD! i would consider myself to be a pretty intolerant person when it comes to immorality in the media (my brother would consider me extremely intolerant). but perhaps i need to be more intolerant.

being at home with God anywhere

i was reading My Utmost for His Highest on Monday and was challenged about my spiritual habits. i'm not talking about disciplines, i'm talking about human habits we make for ourselves. like 'don't disturb me with your ministry need now, this is my prayer time' or 'God can only speak to me during my quiet time which is on the flowered couch in my living room.'
"Jesus was at home with God anywhere. Is there anywhere where you are not at home with God?" i just prayed that God would give me ears to hear Him anywhere, specifically while i'm reading through the Bible with my girls each day. in school we are reading through the Bible in a year, old testament passages in the morning and new testament in the afternoon. there is also a little story that goes along with one of the verses.
so i'm just praying that i would be at home with God and that He would speak to me every day as we are reading and that i can share that with the girls.
i have such a sweet opportunity for discipleship. i NEVER thought i would find a job that included speaking truth into people's lives and encouraging them in their walks' with Christ. i mean, i asked for that kind of job...so i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

where do i begin?

So, I think I'm going through a time of pruning. My Thursday morning Beth Moore study is When godly people do ungodly things. Friends, this is an eye-opening study about people who love Jesus dearly, walk with Him faithfully and yet, are led astray by the evil one into sin. It's so challenging and so good. The verse that i've been meditating on the past couple weeks is:
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
So I've just been praying that He would sanctify me through and through, and that required a little action on my part. One of the quotes from the study says, "I truly loved the Word and had begun to study it fervishly, but the enemy could still have victory over me because I was unknowingly blocking the power and protection of the Word from parts of my life that I either ignored or denied." I'm realizing that I rationalize sin away. Ugh! Things that so much of the world, even many believers would not consider sin. Such as, going 2-5 miles over the speed limit; watching certain shows on TV. God wants ALL of me. His word, thankfully is able to do a lot of the sanctifying...to the deepest parts! Check out Hebrews 4:12 in the Amplified version
"The Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing and effective]; it is shaper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart."

So, speaking of joints and marrow...my doctor thinks I have gout. I just have to say that this makes me think of the Lunch Lady Song (aka Sloppy Joe) by Adam Sandler. However, I now think that it's terrible that he used gout in a song because it's a horribly painful ordeal. Unlike the lunch lady (who had to wear brown orthopedic shoes 'cause she had a bad case of the gout), mine is in my hand. Right hand, pointer finger to be exact. You'd be surpised how little you can do when your dominant hand/finger are in excrutiating pain. I did get medicine, which I was supposed to take until the pain went away OR I got sick to my stomach. Hmmmm, can't quite decide which was worse: crying myself to sleep and waking up everytime I moved or not sleeping through the night because I have to go to the bathroom every couple hours. I'll stop there with the details. The pain did go away for 3 days...but it has unfortunately started to return. For those of you who know anything about gout and are wondering, I will answer the question you know you want to ask, "NO I have not been on a beer drinking binge." I don't think that would line up with being sanctified through and through.

the rubber is hitting the road...

...literally. i'm driving 50 miles a day as i travel to and from work. one little jaunt is on an 8 lane, 3 mile long bridge that my mom used to have reaccuring nightmares about. as the wind nearly blew me out of my lane today, i began to understand why. to pass the 30-45 minutes each way i sometimes enjoy the silence, sometimes listen to music, and in the mornings listen to a sermon. only occassionally do i yell at the other drivers. i have been pleasantly surprised that the commute has been less busy and easier than i thought it would be. perhaps next week i can do it with my eyes closed...after crossing the bridge of course. this morning i thought i would be travelling just so, as i was more tired than usual. 15 minutes after i was supposed to get up, i heard the alarm going off, from it's resting place on my chest. i don't really remember reaching for my phone on the nightstand or pushing snooze 2 times, but apparently i did.

...figuratively. who knew that i would use my training from romania here in the states (besides God)? sometimes i just chuckle to myself as i read a procedure or sit through a long staff meeting or hear a story. i guess doing it all before, in another language, is God's way of making this transition back into the real world a little easier for me.

what is it, you may ask? well i still haven't figured it all out, but i am enjoying it. i think if i could remember more of what i learned in high school i would love it even more! i love the girls. i love our time of bible reading together in the mornings and afternoons. they are so insightful! i love when they succeed during school. i love that they are challenged to have integrity and to honor God in all that they do.

it is definitely a mentally draining job. there are so, so many procedures and i haven't begun to touch all of my responsibilities. every day i walk in the door exhausted. though i have loved being in all of my bible studies, i am ready for them to be over so that i can be home before 8 or 9 more often. i have been conned into leading next week's crown financial life group; tomorrow morning i'm bringing snack for my beth moore study. (did i tell you that my boss is letting me continue to go to this until it's finished in may?) i'll be glad to be in one at a time from now on, though i will always look back on these three months as a sweet time of learning and rest, and when He made me lie down in green pastures. from laying down to running...i keep thinking, "where was the warm up?"

pray that my body would catch up to my spirit
pray that i would be a light
pray for the girls to know and love Jesus

watch your back?

so i had a little scriptural encouragement that i wanted to share with you all today. as i think i've mentioned, i'm in a small group on thrusday mornings and we just recently started studying "Why Godly People Do Ungodly Things" by the one and only beth moore. it's hard to wrap it up into a sentence, but it's basically about not getting seduced into sin. last week as she was teaching via dvd, she shared that we are not to turn our back on the enemy. we need to be aware of his schemes and know that he is prowling around like a lion looking to devour (1 peter 5:8). she told us about her time in africa and getting to pet some really cute baby lions. when she was leaving, she turned her back to go out the gate. the caregiver grabbed her arm and said, "NEVER turn your back on a lion." they are powerful, wild and unpredicable. she then shared that in ephesians 6 the only unprotected part of our bodies when we put on our spritual armor is our back. check it out. you've got your helmet. your breastplate. your shoes. your shield. but there's nothing on your back.
that's been on my mind all week long. my back is out there for an attack.
we DO need to be aware of the devil's schemes. actually as i'm writing this i am reminded of something i saw on either animal planet or discovery about the sunderban tigers in india. unlike most tigers, these are man eating. they unsuspectingly attack the back of the neck and drag their prey off, never to be seen again. many fisherman and those who live in the area wear masks on the back of their head, trying to trick the tiger. at least that way, they can see the attack coming.
the attack is undoubtedly coming if we are walking with God. the only question is when. as i said, we need to be aware of satan's schemes and watch our backs. but today as i was reading in isaiah 55 i found something very encouraging.

the Lord’s glory will be your rear guard.

how cool is that? the Lord is bringing up the rear. He's got your back! we do need to be alert as peter tells us, but we don't need to worry about attacks unknown to God. He is sovereign. He is all powerful. and He is the ultimate authority in the universe. as we gird ourselves with the full armor of God, we can be assured that we've got backup and we're not fighting on our own.

to the nations

Psalm 96:3 Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.
Psalm 108:3 I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.
Psalm 105:1 Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done.

Tonight at church we had a group called This Hope lead us in worship. No joke, I sat through the first song with my mouth wide open because they were so good. At one point during the evening they quoted a verse, which I know is from Psalms but I can't find it. There are SO many verses that talk about praising God among the nations, making known to the nations what great things He has done, etc. As they were saying it, I had a mini vision of going to all the nations...or at least all the continents...at some time during my life to declare His glory and to share Jesus. Whoa. Sometimes I wonder where these thoughts come from.

I have unofficially (or perhaps officially, I'm not sure how it all works) been asked to be on my church's missions commitee...committee...I'm going to have to learn how to spell that...so that's exciting. Not really sure what that entails. Don't know if it's just for this upcoming trip to Mexico or for missions in general. I'm excited that the church is getting excited about missions...well at least the church leadership is getting excited.