set up

for the protection of my sources, i can't share the hilarious story that's been going on in my life. but i will tell you that someone is trying to set me up with a guy. perhaps down the road when this all blows over i will be able to share the saga. but here's the spiritual application to it all...

when i found all this out, i went to this unhealty place of panic and planning. all i had done was shake a guy's hand and say, "nice to meet you." but i allowed myself to freak out and yes, start thinking about a wedding. how wrong is that! thursday night i even became a little teary-eyed because i didn't know who would be my maid of honor and bridesmaids!

that's when it had gone too far. i started praying and thinking in a different way. oh that i would be so excited about my Bridegroom and begin preparing for meeting Him. that wedding is a guarantee, thankfully. and i began to think about the parable of the 10 virgins. only some of them were prepared when the Bridegroom came for the bride. who am i taking with me to my wedding? will i help them to be prepared?

thankfully, my life is the Lord's and He can do what He wants with it. i don't have to worry when people try to make plans for me, because God is the sovereign One.

On being single:
a while back as i was driving to work the Holy Spirit threw a thought to me: "you're holding out for the ram in the bushes." i knew exactly what He was talking about. when God and i talk about me being single, i say i'm ok with it and i start to sacrifice marriage on the altar. but all the while i'm looking around, thinking there's something else. thinking maybe it's just temporary. maybe the Lord is just testing me, as He did with abraham and isaac. and maybe He is, but that's not for me to decide or wait around for. my attitude has to be one of complete surrender and obedience. i can't live in an unhappy state of singleness (not that i'm unhappy), longing for something else. i have to be content with where the Lord has me. i have to live fully for Him, completely abandoned. i can't hold out that there MIGHT be marriage in the future.