conversation

this took place between God and myself Monday night and Tuesday morning:
Monday night
me: i guess i'm mad. i just got this 2nd bill from physical therapy that i though i'd already paid. i know it's not worth getting mad about. it's just money.

Tuesday morning:
(as i'm in the snooze phase, not quite awake, kind of still dreaming)
God: do you want to drink from the Living Water?
me: woah...where did that come from? what was i dreaming?
(still not sure about this one)
(reading from Streams in the Desert before walking out the door)
"Jesus stopped and responded to two blind men who had called out to Him. 'What do you want me to do for you?' It was as though He said, 'I am yours to command...He seems to be saying, 'All my resources are at your command.'

(in the car on the way to work)
me: i guess i'm just stressed out about money for my mission trip to Mexico. if i have to spend my money on PT then i don't have as much. Lord i just really thought you were going to provide. i didn't think i was going to have to spend my money.
meditating on 1 chronicles 29:11-12 ...riches and honor come from you alone, and you are ruler over all mankind...ok, Lord it's all Yours anyways. i just wanted to have faith that you'd provide. i didn't want to have to ask people, to raise support. i wanted to be like george meuller.
God: have you even asked me?
me: huh? i don't know. maybe i haven't. maybe i just thought you'd take care of it, but never asked. ... (30 seconds or so pass) ... ugh! why am i having such a hard time asking? i guess because i don't just want to seek you for your provision. i want to seek your face not your hand. do you even enjoy giving? is it ok to ask?
God: Ask and it will be given to you; Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (mt 7:7, 9-11)
me: ok, so i just ask that you provide for my trip to Mexico
God: I will meet all your needs according to my glorious riches

driving home from work on the phone:
mom: i have some good news.
me: oh yeah, what's that?
mom: dad said he's going to pay for your mission trip.

i don't remember what i said after that...i was crying though.
God is good.