"because you say so i will let down the nets"

my friend brianna had a good word for me today. i've been praying about taking this job, but my heart has been heavy about it. career changes are a big, scary step. i so fervently prayed that if i was going to have a job that God would give it to me...and yet, i've doubted that this is from Him. it's so hard to think about getting involved with troubled kids again. my flesh says, "been there, done that," but apparently i'm not finished. like peter said (luke 5:5) "Master we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything." i have toiled, grown weary and exhausted. and don't get me wrong, God is so, so good. the kids in Romania are miraculously different than they were 3 years ago. to say i "haven't caught anything," that there hasn't been fruit would be unrecognition of the work of the Lord. i keep saying i want to do ministry, to speak truth to people, to help them to see the life-changing power of the word. God forgive me, i think i wanted to help hurting people without getting down and dirty. (sidenote: for those of you who don't know, i feel like i am supposed to write a book about how God is our Father) i guess i just wanted to write about it without walking people through it. just as peter thought he was done fishing for the night, i thought i was finished with teenagers living in a group home; i thought i was finished with teaching in the academic world. but apparently there are still fish to catch. the Lord still has some things to show me about Himself, that He doesn't do things the conventional way. so because He says so, i will let down my nets. i know they are going to be full.